The 30 Rules of Hogwarts x
by Rarw.Means.I.Love.You-x
Summary: There are 30 rules that you shouldn't break at hogwarts or you'll be in DETENTION! xx WARNING! major OOC in this fanfiction...so dont like, dont freakin read!xxxx
1. Impressions xx

**1. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.**

"Right, now class. I've just been sumened to the great hall. It seemed pretty urgent, so I must go right away. Please can you just sit quietly until I get back" Hagrid told us just before rushing off to the great hall.

We all stayed silent. It was pretty amazing considering it was our class,but it had to end sometime and that sometime was Draco Malfoy's fat gob.

"Well as fun as sitting in silence all day is: and by the looks of some of you, I think you would." This made me giggle a little, I didn't know why this was cowerdly,evil,little Draco Malfoy. The one who useds the word "Mudblood" against me as if it was a weapon.

I quickly silenced my laughter.

"I have somehting a bit more...fun to do" He added smirking.

He ran over to the magical creatures and took his top off ; and if I say so myself "HOT!"

He put a cowboy hat on and started to pick up the animals. Then came an australian accent to which he was realli good at.

"Right, now this is a sting ray, I shouldn't really be touching these because this is what killed me. I know pathetic isnt it" Draco joked and the crowed seemed to love it. Although he was dissing Steve Irwins death and if any teacher saw this they would have a cow.

"Now this is an araconda" Draco told us in his australian accent. He then began to dance with the snake and the class laughed in histerics,Untill...

"!" A sharp voice shouted from behind him. We all turned to look.

"Never in all of my years of working here have I seen such a Mockery of a noble mans death and to then take your top of and dance" We all laughed but we soon stopped after seeing Mcgonagals death stair.

"Dentention ."

We all laughed as he walked away putting his top back on.


	2. Shampoo

**2. I will not threaten Professor Snape with shampoo.**

I can't believe me and Granger have to share a dorm because of this hold head boy and heade girl thing. It sucks.

Oh man, where did I put that card...where?. I know the bathroom.

I ran into the bathroom only to find granger in the bath. At first I was like oh my,but then...she was beautiful. I just stood there a staired at her. She desperatley tryed to cover her self up.

"Draco!"She screamed.

But i just watched her. She picked up the shampoo and throw it at me it flew out the room after bouncing of my now red head. I awoke from the trance that she had me in and realised what I was doing I ran out the room to the settee. I sat there with the shampoo in my hand and laughed as Granger came to join me in a towel.

"Hey,sexy" I said to her sarcasticly.

"Oh shut up Draco" She repliyed sitting next to me on the settee. I put my arm around her trying to make her uncomfatable. Oh how I loved to annoy her. But before she had a chance to move Professor snape burst into the room.

"Oh, is this a bad time?." He asked looking away. We tryed in a desperate attempt to tell him the truth but he didnt listen and walked out.

**In potions **

"Mrs Granger, If I were you I'd be quiet"Professor Snape told Granger.

"Well luckerly your not me and what you going to do about it greaseball " She replyed.

"I could easily tell the hold call about your's and Draco's episode last night"

"Go ahead, not like there's anything to tell...Professor"

"Oh how you were dripping wet. With nothing but a towel around you. No wait also Draco's arm if i remember right. That's why I left in such a hurry"

"No, remember professor it was because you saw the shampoo in my hand,and were afraid i was going to wash your hair. We all know how your afraid of shampoo"

"How dare you.."

"Stay back it only takes seconds to fech the shampoo and wash that mop of yours"

"DETENTION!"

I and the class flooded with laughter as Professor snape and Granger argued.


	3. the Dark mark xx

**3. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.**

**REVIEW! xxxxx**

Professor Mcgonagal was really starting to annoy me, always on about the same old crap. I mean come on nobody care's about transfiguration. The worst thing you could change someone into is a mudblood and the worst person i know is Granger; this might be because i think im developing a crush on her, but im going throught puberty give me a break. anyways Granger, and she's already a mudblood so this lesson is of no use to me. I desided to take a nap, I was sitting on my own anyways as my mates were all at the hospital with Goyle. He has broke his arm. I wanted to go to but you know Mcgonagal. I also needed to let of some tension and mabey the depression of un willingly liking Granger, not like Mcgonagal will notice anyways. She's to lost in her lectures. I dosed of into a deep sleep.

"Hey, Harry" Hermione whispered over to him.

"Yeah, Mione?" Harry asked.

"Malfoy's asleep"

"So?"

"So, your always saying how he should be a death eater, so lets make him one"

"Im lost"

"You know the black marker I brought back from the muggle world"

"Oh yeah...pass it hear then"

"Your laughing mate,im 10x better at drawing and it's my marker, so im doing it"

"errrrrr, your doing it" harry asked sarcasticlly

"you know what i mean harry!"

Hermione grabbed the marked pen from her pocket and started draw on his arm. Suprisingly he didnt flinch, he must be a very heavy sleeper. She was just finshed as Mcgonagal had finished her lecture. She quickly moved away making Draco's arm very visible.

"Mr Malfoy!" Mcgonagal screeched as she saw the sigh of his arm.

He jumped out of his skin, looking down at his arm.

"I swear that wasn't there before" He pleaded

"Hmmmm" Magonagal cast a spell on it and found it was writen with a muggle item.

"Miss granger?. It just so happens that it has been draw with a marker...a muggle item" Mcgonagal questioned.

"Yeah, writen by a filthy mudblood" Draco added

"Well it was just a little practically joke" she told her.

"Detention!" She screamed and Draco chuckled.

"Shut up Malfoy" She told him

"You love me really" He tease and a smile creeped up on her face.

"No,you love me" She added


	4. Keeping a Gryffindore in suspense ?

**29. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.**

"Hey look Malfoy, Gryfindore at 12:00" Crabbe told me and I looked over to find no other than Granger. This would be fun.

I walked over to her with my friends.

"Say Granger, How do you keep a Gryffindore in suspense?" I asked her in an alarming voice and my friends laughed behind me.

"How?" She asked

We all walked away, laughing at her misfortune. She didn't seem to realise it at first but then she came to the conclusion of the joke.

"Oh haha, very funny Malfoy" She shouted annoyed by his childish behaviour.

"Where are you going?" I asked her as she walked away.

"Going back to our common room"

I followed her back and went to sit on the settee she was on, I desided to copy almost every move she mad and soon this really began to annoy her.

"Stop it Malfoy" She screamed folding her arms.

"Stop it Malfoy" I mimiked in a winny impression of her, also folding my arms.

She stopped to look at me in anger.

"Fine then, I'll stop" I told her.

"Thankyou" She answered sarcasticly.

There was a silence for a while, untill I had to say

"Hey Granger, How do you keep a Gryffindore in suspense?"

"I know the joke Malfoy, your going to walk away. it wasn't funnt the first time"

"It so was, and for your infomation I have no intentions of just walking away... so there!"

"Well then how do you keep a Gryffindore in suspence if your not going to just walk away"

I lent forward, what was i doing. Oh well, i liked her and she obviously LOVED me, obviously.

I kissed her and she started to kiss back, I didn't want to but I had to stop becasue then the hold suspense joke wouldn't work. I pulled away and walked out the room leaving her in complete shock and suspense like the joke sugested, but to be honest se wasn't the only one that was shocked by this. But i will admit, it wasn't funny.


	5. Getting them back !

**5. I will not lock Slytherin's and Gyffindor's in a room together and take bets to see which will come out alive.**

**Please Review xxx**

I can't believe he kissed me, I just can't understand it. This is some kind of humiliation, he wouldn't fancy me...he wouldn't?. I longed to get him back for this...moreover how?.

I wandered into the Gryffindor common room, when it struck me. The spare room.

It was a little room that came of the Gryffindor common room, almost like a closet. that's how i'll get him.

I journeyed back to our common room where Draco was sitting on the settee.

"Come with me" I logged him in addition he un-cooperatively got up and asissted me back to the small room.

"Right walk in" I retold him

"Your joking right" He answered me.

"Do i look like I'm joking" i demanded .

he gazed at me confused, but entered. I cleverly secured the entrance. He whacked the entryway as well as pleading with me to open, however i didn't.

That's when lavender came. I understood them two couldn't stand each other.

"Lav, could you come her" I portrayed to her.

"Sure" I replied, strolling over.

"Who is in there ?" She inquired, muddled.

"It's a first year and I'm not as skinny as you hence I cant get in" I accounted her.

"Clearly, Of course I will, my narrow design will slide right through" She boasted opening the door and marching in. Before she had chance to see who was there i smacked the door secure.

I sat on the settee and shouting went on for about 30 mins until muteness struck. This was strange and I got worried. I creeped up sluggishly and motivated open the door. To my terror I exposed Draco snogging Lavender.

The both ended and gazed at me, still holding each other.

For some strange reason It made me sad and angry, my eyes filled with tears as I ran out of the room. But nobody followed I sat on our common room floor and cryed.

Did I love him?.

"Miss Granger are you ok?" McGonagall asked me walking in.

"Well I locked Draco and Lavender in a room-" I told her but she cut me up.

"You did what...Detention Miss Granger" She screamed and Draco and Lavender entered the room. Holding hands and kissing.

"Mr Malfoy, you know the rules unless they have a pass no body in this common room but you two...Detention for you both, in the dark forest, 9:00pm tonight" She told us leaving with Lavender.

I looked at him in rage and walked of to my bedroom.

Not another detention!


	6. The Forbidden Forest Part I

**6) The forbidden forest is forbidden for a reason. PART I**

Well it's 8:55pm I'd best get going, I mean ,I bet Draco's already there. Perfect little Draco!.Oh the nerve of that child.  
>I walked to the Forbidden forest to find non other that Draco already there. Oh how unexpected…not.<p>

"Miss Granger, right, Hagrid will be holding your detention tonight. Off you both go" Professor Mcgonagal tells us.

"Common then, best get started" Hagrid tells us both.

We walk into the forest…and oh yes, it is as terrifying as you would exspect…well even more so.

"What exactly are we in hear for, other than the fact that we have detention?" Draco asked Hagrid, with a very disgusted expression.

"Well, you see… were looking for the Cornish pixies, they got away juring one of Snapes 1st year defence against the dark arts lesson. Neville said that he saw a hold bunch of them run into here."Hagrid told us both.

Why would that be so important?…I mean there pixie's for crying out loud.

"And exactly why do we need to look for pixie's…there pixie's!" Draco took the words right out of my mouth.

"Well, because the ministry are coming in for an inspection of the school. We cant have pixie's running around the place, they would terrorise it!"Hagrid told us. Well I suppose that makes abit more sence. We carried on walking, until we were deep into the forrest.

"Now Hermione and Draco you go that way and ill go this way...we'll meet back up hear in exactly 1 hour"Hagrid announced, walking off into the fog of the forest.

I cant believe he's leaving to Students in the forest …at night…alone…come on people work with me. Wow, its awfully silent? I turned around in suspision, only to find that for all this time I was thinking he had already gone…how inconsiderate of it!

"Draco!" I screamed, trying to get his individed attention…because we all want that…oh i do amuse myslef at times.

"What?" He shoutes turning around, yet still walking.

"Wait"

"Hurry up then, Granger. Your cramping my style" Cramping his style..the audacity of that boy amazes me sometimes…However I still run over.. I mean after all if the classy thing to do.

"So…Granger-"

"Wait, hold it right there. Its Hermione!"

"Okay, Hermione…your into theo nott" What? Where in merlin's beard, did that come from…that boy is an outrage…

"Yeah, attractive, that is?" I add sarcastically and surprisingly enough, he laughs.

"What, you don't like him…everyone like him, well me more ,but him to"

"I guess not everyone does" I confess.

"But, he so like's you"

"What?"

"He's crazy about you…I mean I couldn't imagine why, your like ewww and he's like OMG!"

"What? You think I'm ewwww?"

"I was-"

"You know what, save it!…I've had enough of your childish behavour!" I screamed storming off into the forest, which as I predicted he didn't follow. I don't even know why I blew like that, I mean it was just a joke and I knew that… it'as hormone's...a girls bestfriend.

**Draco's POV**

"Stupid, mudblood…it was just a joke. I mean I actually think she really pretty. Yeah well not now, she's ruined her chance's with the Drakinator!" I whisper infusiastcly to myself…Im pretty strange to be honest.

"Ahh, I hate her right know!" I demand to myself…I carrie on walking for a further mile until…

"DRACO!" A female voice cryes out…it sounds like Hermione. I look around confused and weary until I see it…a big army of Pixies running for me…Im going to die!

"Mummy!" I scream out in a girly tone.


	7. The Forbidden Forest Part 2 Final part

**okay, so this is one of the longer ones and i really hope you like it...sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

**please no flames, if you dont like dont read...pleased review xxxxxxxxxx love you all! **

I ran as fast as my legs would bring me. I grabbed Hermione on my way.

What? Was i literally benefiting the mudblood who just angered me?

We both ran through the forest, avoiding tree's and hurdling sticks until Hagrid came in sight.

"Hagird"! Hermione cried in a desperate attempt to alarm him

"What can I do"? Hagrid moaned in fear.

Me and Hermione both gazed at one another. What were we going to do.

It seemed all hope had gone until i saw Hermione pull out her wand. I knew she would save us.

"finite incantartam" Hermoine cast and the pixies froze. Me and Hermione flopped to the floor in relive. Hagrid came running over and caught them all in a net before the spell wore off.

"Right, best be off. I mean we have gotten what we came for" Hagrid announced . Me and Hermione got up off the ground.

"Thanks by the way, for saving us back there" I told her.

"I still haven't forgiven you for what you said" She replied walking away in a huff.

"That time of the month"? I asked her, with a sarcastic considerate face.

She just looked at me in disgust and carried on walking.

What a moody cow! I mean, I Draco Lusius Malfoy, just thanked a mudblood. What more could she want.

I traveled behind with my head looking down to the floor. But I soon got bored. I don't know how them Gryffindor cope all day, moping around the castle like lost sheep. I ran over to Hermione and Hagrid, and surprisingly none of them noticed, they just carried on walking. I really wasn't used to this. Back in Slytherin I would be treated like a god.

"My father will be hearing about this" I told Hagird.

"Well done" hagird replied nodding his head. What a douche bag!

We finished the rest of the journey back to the common room in silence.

I went to sit down on the was the longest I had ever been without talking and let me tell you, it is not easy.

Hermione went to sit on the sofa across from me.

"Sooo"...

"What Malfoy"?

"Oh so its Malfoy now"?

"Yes"

"Well then, Granger"

"Yes, Malfoy"

"Don't you have some period pad changing to do"?

"Your such a jerk" Hermione...no wait, Granger told me, getting up.

"And for the record, I'm not even on"! Hermione shouted.

"Oh so your just a full time cow then"?

"Oh, you are deep, deeper then dirt"!

"Why thank you "

"You make me so angry"

"Yet you love me"

"no, i wouldn't love you if your were the last man of earth"

"So I'm a man now"?

"no"

"What, you said it"?

"No i didnt"!

"you said it first"

"no you did"

"i loved you first"

"no, i loved you"

"I'm going to kiss you now"

"you'd better"

I lunged forward and kissed her.

What was happening.

A first year came running in and found us kissing.

He began to scream which alarmed me, Hermione and McGonagall who just so conviniantly happened to be walking past.

Stupid rat!

"Mr Malfoy, what's going on"? McGonagall asked me. I mean Hermione was there too.

"Grangers hear as well "

"What? I did nothing"?

"Mr Malfoy detention...I don't want to hear it" She told us walking out of the room with the 1st year,

"So where were we"?

"Well i was going to bed, i could not give a damn what your doing"

"What"?

"that's right Malfoy, your a jerk...calling me Granger in front of teachers, rating me up"

"Well i cant go parading around that i kissed a mudblood"

Hermione's eyes filled up with tears.

"you could have done it for me" she told me, walking into her room and slamming the door. Soooo, no kiss, a detention and now a 1st year to beat up...

**i dont know if i should continue the story or not?/: what do you all think?**


	8. We're off to see the wizard!

**8: When I get sent to the headmasters office, I will Not sing 'We're off to see the wizard!'**

**1 day later **

I walked into the common room where I found Hermione watching an unfamiliar film.

"What you watching Granger?" I asked her. I know your probably thinking, they audasity of that checky child. But, im bored.

"The wizard of oz"

"What's that?" I asked, going to sit down next to her. Hoping, praying, she had put yesterday behind her.

"Its a film" She answerd me, sacaticaly

"What, a stupid muggle film?"

"Shut up Malfoy"

I could say somehting right now, but me being the un-childish, un-selfish, speciman i am i desided it was better not to.

Moments later small people filled the screen, in a brightly coloured background.

"Oh look Granger, it's Proffesor Flitwick"

She couldn't help but giggle at that, I could see she was fighting it though.

I thought I'd shut up for a while. I stayed to watch the rest of the film. i'd might as well seen as I had to wait for Proffesor McGonagals word on where my detention was.

"We're off to see the wizard, the wounderful wizard of oz" the characters sang.

"What a stupid childish song. I couldn't imagine doing that at our age" i spat.

"It's just a film, Malfoy"

"Well,I dont see the point"

"You wouldn't"

"And why's that, Granger?"

"Because your narrow minded"

"I'm not, it's just not funny"

"I think it is"

What ever Granger!

Moments later McGonagal entered the room.

"Mr Malfoy?" she asked.

I have never been so happy as to hear that, annoying, winey little voice.

"Finally" I annonced, jumping up off my seat.

"You'll be going to the headmasters office for your detention"

"Yes, i get to see they old dumble" I told her in a sarcastic voice, which suprisingly made Hermione giggle.

"Well seen as its funny, Miss Granger, you can go and see him to."

"But..." she pleaded.

"No buts" McGonagal, told her leaving the room.

"Thanks alot Draco" She said getting up of her seat and making her way to dumbledoors office, I followed like a lost puppy.

We walked half way in the dark, in silence.

"Look, Granger...Hermione, i dont wonna make you sad"

"Well you have a funny way of showing it"

"And you make it really hard to apollagise to you"

"i'm sorry"

We walked again in silence, but it was a different kind of silence this time. It was an awkward silience. What could i do...Then i saw the head teachers office...off course.

I grabbed Hermione's hand and gragged her along singing.

"We're off to see the wizard, the...not so wounderful wizard of oz"

We both giggled as we ran and soon she joined in singing.

"What do you think your doing?"snape interupted, in his usual naisly voice.

"Were singing, _We're of to see the wizard"_ are you death?" I asked.

"Detention, Mr Malfoy and you granger"

"Why thankyou Professor, your too kind...now if you dont mind we have a detention to get to and if were late I for one and holding you personally responsable" Hermione annonced skipping off with me before he had chance to stop us.

"You should be ashamed" I shouted skipping off

We reached the door and opened it.

2 detentions! that sucks.!


	9. Robes are not optional

** are not optional**

After detention me and Hermione went back to our common room.

"Well that was fun" I annonced, sitting down by Hermione on the settee.

"Yeah, believe it or not, that was the best i'd felt all year"

"Well,Granger, it doesn't have to stop hear"

There was a slight pause.

"You know what Malfoy, im going to take you up on that offer"

Hermione got up and went to bed.

"What?" I thought aloud.

Giving that i went to bed to, I needed some shut eye.

**The next day.**

"Come on Malfoy. Were going to be late for divination" Hermione told me pulling me off the sofa.

"Just look at your robes, there creesed like mad" She pestered.

"Well its not like i can take them off now. You've put all of my others in the wash"

"But there a mess"

"You just want to see my sexy body, dont you?"

"Sexy?"

"Ahaha, you admit that you wanted to see my body, and yes"

"I wouldn't want to see your body if i were payed"

"No, you'd rarther do it for free"

"Shut up" she told me. " Anyhows lets go."

Me and Hermione walked to class.

"It's so ambaracing walking with someone who looks like they've been dragged out of a bush backwards"

"You should be used to it I mean you walk around with Weasle. And plus, its not like I can strip off in class"

Me and Hermione paused to look at eachother.

"What?"

"I dare you to strip off in class"

"No"

"i'll do it if you do"

"No!...only the lucky one's get a glance at the Malfanator!"

"Wow you love yourself...well i supose someone needs to love you."

"Was that an offer?"

"Shut up"

"Okay then, ill do it"

"Yes!"

"on one condition; you do it to"

"Okay"

"We walked into class and sat down. There was this rule now that me and Hermione had to stay together until we can behaive. At first I thought that sucked, but now It's almost a benafit"

Proffesor started the lesson and everyone began to listen.

"Remind me again why were doing this?"

"Well after last night, I just love the feeling you get from being..well"

"A Rebel?"

"Yeah"

"Okay then...off i go"

"Mr Malfoy...what does your cup say?"

"It says..hmmm, this cant be right?"

"What is it?" Proffesor asked. " The cup never lies"

"It says take your clothes off. Well seen as the cup never lies"

I stood up on the table and started to strip off. Girls from everywere stared.

"What are you doing?"

"He's doing what the cup says, are you thick?"Hermione told her standing on the table as well.

"Now what ae you doing?"

"Taking off my robes!" Hermioen told her pulling her head out.

Soon enough we were both on the table in our underwear, when Mcgonagal walked in.

"What are you doing!"

"Were trying to strip off, do you mind?"I asked

"Right get down" Mcgonagal annonced grabbing mine and Hermiones arm.

"Detention, now. And pick up your robes"

"Stupid cow"

"What did you say to me mr malfoy"

"I said stupid cow! I swear the teachers in this joint need hearing aids!"

"I know, all you get asked these days is what did you say"

"What has this school become?" mcgonagal asked in shock.

"Inno what you mean, McGonagal baby. Teachers are really slaking" I told her putting my arm on her with that she dragged and and Hermione to Professor Dumbledoors office wearing nothing but our underwear.


	10. 7th years party!

**10. I should not show up at the 7th years party wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk.**

After we had gone to the headmaster we returned to our dorm, but there was now 3 of us. Like Proffesor said before...Neville longbottom. I hate that child, I really do. We all sat down in the common room and looked at eachother in silence.

"So what do you guys do to pass time?" Neville asked us. Stupid kid! I mean how rude.

"Shut up longbottom!"

"Don't be so nasty. Me and Neville have been friends for years and he has agreed to stay in here with us all the rest of today. He's missing the 7th years party for us and he hasnt done anything, we're the ones who should be punished not him" Hermione added.

"No, i think your mistaken Granger. He's not going to the party because he had nobody to go with. We've done the poor child a favour." I told her "Neville your welc-" i started.

"Dracky, can i speek to you for a second, baby?" Pansy inquired in a nassle voice.

"yeah sure" i added jumping off my seet. " You can kiss me later Longbottom"

Me and Pansy talked bout how she'd missed me, and how we need to get together sometime. I used countless excuses, i mean it was Pansy! I can't blaime her thow, everyone wants a piece of the Draco. But its just didums.

I walked back over to Hermione and Neville and sat down once more when Mcgonagal entered the room.

"Mr longbottom, if you still want to go to the 7th years party the offers there. dont let these to clowns keep you back"

"Why thankyou Mcgonagal. And he's fine, it's me he wants not you" I told her

"Mr Malfoy!"

"Im fine thankyou, i think ill leave it" Neville told Mcgonagal.

"Okay" She told him leaving.

"This sucks! I mean I really wanted to go to this party" Hermione annonced

"I dont see the point, i mean you wouldnt have anyone to go with either. Is it just the ones that cant get dates who wonna go?"

"Oh well then in that case you must a dying to go malfoy"

"I happen to have them queueing up"

"What Crabbe&goyle...I ment females" hermione added and her and Neville laughed.

"better then no one babycakes"

We all once again sat in silence.

"I've got it"

"What exsactly have you got granger?"

"dumbledoor said we cant go anywhere in the magic world for a week"

"And your bringing me down with this infomation why?"

"Because he never said anything about the muggle world"

"Nooo! i'm not being seen there! I'd rarther stay in"

"I dont mind coming" Neville added.

"No one said you were invited"

"You can come Neville" Hermione told him.

They both got up and got there things.

"What so your just going to leave me hear?. Poor, innocent, little me, left to fend for myself...all alone and bored"

"Oh que the sad music, plus the offers there" Hermione told me.

"Im not coming"

"Fine, see you later"

They were just about to go before...

"Fine, just wait there"

I grabbed my coat.

"Its lucky we dont have enough time to get dressed, or we would be waiting hours or mr. vein"

"just because i take pride in myself, unlike some. But you could have atlease brushed this hair Hermione"

"Oh shut up"

we all went.

We were out for hours, luckerly Neville came because we were so drunk we nearly missed track off time,

"Come on, we'd best go" Neville told us.

"Okay but only if me and you swich clothes baby" I asked Hermione.

"Okie dokie"

Next second, me and Hermione were changing clothes. We'd swopped ties, Trousers and skirt, and jumper. And then we arrived at Hogwarts.

Neville being clever Neville only got the spell wrong and transported us to the 7th years party.

Everyone from everywhere turned to look at us.

"Draco Malfoy in a skirt..HOT!" Pansy screamed.

"Mr Malfoy, Miss Granger, why do you have eachothers uniform on?" Snape asked.

"Yeah, WTF are you wearing a Gryffindor's tie for?"Goyle asked in discust.

"Look snakey baby, greg. I am what i am"

"And that would be?" goyles asked

"A butterfly"

"Mr Malfoy are you drunk?" snape inquired

"Naaa', im just not sober"

"yea its because we went out, brother" hermione added.

"And you let this happen Mr Longbottom. you were supossed to be keeping them in line?"

"Right all of you My office now and Detentions for the next week"

"Bitch!" I shouted walking out and Hermione followed.


	11. I hate potions!

**sorry I haven't updated in a while ive been busy, but i'm going to try and speed up the process from now on;)**

* * *

><p><strong>103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums". -Neither does he respond favourably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "menny".<strong>

"I hate potions!" I announced loudly to Goyel, as Snape walked passed, with an expression of having dung under his nose.

I really hate that teacher…how dare he put me in detention for something as stupid as that! Its all Granger's fault!

"Well, its not much of a pleasure teaching you mister Malfoy" He replied to me.

"oh go wash your greasy hair!" I told him. Which then set the class of in stickes.

"Are you fishing for a detention Mr Malfoy?"

"No, more like shopping for one…"

"Right…Deten-"

"Merlin's beard" Hermione interrupted.

"What now!" Snape asked furiously, as Hermione had cut him up again.

"You just looked freakishly like Mcgonagal" Hermione replied, which then set the hold class of in to a harmony of "oh yea"

"Well you know what they say…you look more and more like your bird everyday" I told him with a wink.

"Last time I checked Mcgonagal was a cat not a bird!" Goyel shouted which made everyone laugh.

Snape looked at me and Hermione furiously .

"Oh menny, its fine. Your little secrete is safe with us" I told him with another wink.

"menny?" Hermione asked in confusion.

"Yeah, short for Minerva…menny, Minerva…menny, Minerva!" I told her.

"Okay, we get the point!"

"How dare you insult, accuse me off having a relationship with one of out beloved staff-"

"ha, beloved!" Weasely randomly blurted out, but stopped after Snape gave him an evil stare.

"Can you not contain your self Mr Weasely?" Snape asked him and he looked at the floor.

"And finally, call me such foul names!" He told me and Hermione.

"Oh were sorry…would you prefer Sev?" I asked

"Snapey-Poo?" Hermione added.

"Sexy-Snapey" I added

"Snap-"

"That's enough!" He shouted cutting up Hermione.

Mcgonagal came rushing in.

"What's going on professor snape?"

"Don't you mean snookums?" Hermione added, getting him back for cutting her up.

"Say no more professor…I can see just what's happenings here…you two my office now!"

"Fair enough… But first, why did you say 'say no more' he didn't start to tell you what we'd done" I told her walking out the class room with Hermione close behind.

"I can see who wares the trousers in that relationship" Hermione shouted which made me and the class laugh in stitches.

Another detention…great!

**please review ;)**


End file.
